What?

I'm fasting pretty diligently but I am not praying as much as I should. Prayer is harder to do than fasting sometimes.

I'm not always sure of what to say and I feel bad for some of my background thoughts. I will be in the middle of a prayer thanking God and catch myself, in some other mind I have "I have to read those 50 pages in 2 day. FML." God does not want to hear that.

This is a dangerous point of my fast. Physically, I am managing, coping even. It gets easier with each day. Spiritually, I am a flunkie. The fast is still working on my soul, teaching me patience, making forgiveness seem more possible but I am not talking to God in the way I should.

I am glad we are keeping up this blog because it gives me a chance to chronicle my journey to self but also chronicles the distractions, road blocks, construction, potholes, and more in this journey to self.

Praying is not a chore or a task or even something to write down on a checklist (because I love checklists and I make one almost everyday and sometimes I write down "pray"). I need to get to and stay in the place where I talk to God, praise God everyday, just because. I don't have to pray at 5am or 1pm (although that is the ideal) but I have to pray. I have to thank Him for waking me everyday and I have to ask Him to encourage me on if He gives me another one.

Slackin' like tomorrow is an already cashed check. SMH.