P.S. I love you

I wanna go to a place where lovers go.....no stress......i wanna do the things we used to do, say the things we used to say, just lay.......

*sigh* I just recorded a video on my phone. A farewell video of sorts. But never realized how much of a white girl I sounded like. So white, that I can never again say "in my white girl voice" and I feel like I should stop hanging out with white people all together so that people don't mistake me for one of those ignorant broads that wishes she were white. Ugh. I don't even think I should say nigga anymore. And now I realize why my temne is so fucking terrible. Omg!

Ok. I'm done breaking down about that.

This post isn't about my voice. It's about my best friend Zainab. And people.....let me tell you about my best friend.

She is phenomenal. She is beautiful, inside and out. She is intelligent AND smart (and no they are not synonymous). The most emotionally invested person I know when it comes to family. The only person I completely trust with my life. There are so many things I could say about her.

I am ecstatic (I really should look for more words that mean really happy) that she is starting to see how phenomenal she is and will come to be. She cut her hair and I love it. This is the last blog I'll be writing while in the states and I really just want to say to my big sister...........

I love you. It's only three weeks that I'll be gone. We'll both be fine. I think my obsession has convinced me that you can't be okay without me. You'll break down. You'll need to talk and no one will be the sounding board you need. But that's not true. You'll be perfectly fine without me because you're strong and you have therapy and you have "suck ass, good ass" friends. lol. Be sure to email me though. I still want to know what you're up to, when and what you're eating, what you're doing, how the black power movement is progressing, how you're doing, what you're learning......once again, I could go on and on. But I basically want to know that you're doing ok. That's always my main concern. If my mother's not okay, then I'm not okay. So yea, keep me updated son.

Of course I'll be on here a couple times to read your blogs. I should have brought my USB cord to upload pics while I'm there but I'm sure I'll find one while I'm there. I get to see Alimamy, Zainab! I'm so excited. And I get to meet Fenthi. I wish you were coming with me. I actually wish you could go everywhere with me. In my back pocket or something. I'm needy, we already know that though. Not sure what else to say. I feel like we've been farwelling since the beginning of the week. Can't wait to come back and totally overdose on KARMA INC. I'm going to come to Richmond before life gets too stressful. And we gon drown ourselves in green, hugs and love.

Simply put. I love u boo. Take care of yourself. Keep doing what you're doing.