But Who Jah Bless...

"Who the Cap Fit" by Bob Marley

...no one curse / Thank God, we're past the worst...

I haven't been fasting, not out of insolence but the chronic indolence of being sick.

And it has interrupted my prayer, which doesn't require the physical sacrifice that fasting does, but it is something I haven't been obedient to do.

However, the residue of Ramadan has not left. The things I learned/am learning are with me. I am working on my anxiety and trying to curb my sense of helplessness. When times are harder, I grind harder.

And He has rewarded me for such an attitude even in the absence of my prayers. People, who in the past have been unreliable and inconsistent, have reconsidered their participation in my life and are all about the straight and narrow.

And I am more forgiving, more willing to to enlist their help, less likely to feel pity for the perceived helplessness of my situation.

Fasting during Ramadan left a lasting impression on my soul and on my psyche. Bad things will happen but most of them will not constitute as being the end of the world. I can do this, if I want to, but really this time.

And I have the support of those I longed for in my life. It's a good time to be alive. I almost wasn't here for this.

They say that who the cap fit, let them wear it. Those who left, gave up on me, deserted me, wore the hat of abandonment, but it didn't really fit their hearts. It is just hard to be a human being and not judge, so they made their way back.

I appreciate God for helping me live long enough to witness this moment in my life. The focus now is to make that graduate cap fit.

Tomorrow, Ramadan part two. My little sister and Shahedah (my star) shall subsist on faith and hope alone.